


A Journey of Courage

by senaytje2



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Soulbonds, Angelic Grace, Caring Sam, Feathers & Featherplay, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Male Bonding, Wing Kink, but nothing explicit, hurt!Lucifer, slightly nsfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 14:33:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6119452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/senaytje2/pseuds/senaytje2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucifer allows Sam to seek for the invisible scars left from years ago coming from where his wings were ripped out when it was declared that he would be cast down. He’s insecure, feels miserable, but Sam knows someone who still believes in him to this day and is proud of him for all he’s gone through.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Journey of Courage

Lucifer didn’t know what those sparks were that he felt escalate up his body, but that seemed to be the impact Sam made on his vessel once there were fingers slowly tugging the back of his collar down to reveal some skin, plush lips covering his neck in a second. The archangel leaned back, eyes closing over time until he saw fireworks.

  
“Where does it hurt the most?”

  
He swallowed, hesitantly lifting the side of his shirt all the way up, and stopped when he couldn’t go further. Sam helped him.

  
“Before my fall,” Lucifer croaked, voice broken and desparately filling the air, “Michael deprived me from keeping my wings. That happened when it was decided that I would be cast down.” he explained, lowering his hand when he felt Sam take it from there, curiously lift up the cloth higher to seek for the spot.

  
He shivered when a single touch of a finger traced near the area where his wings once were. It was deliberate, seemingly assuasive, retrieving small nervous puffs of breaths out of him and Sam looked up with a twinkle forming into one of his eyes while never stopping his movements.

  
“Feel good?”

  
A part of Lucifer wanted to deny, avoid that question and neglect it for good. He was a powerful creature, he had gone through more than a dozen wars and been hurt multiple times, he had gone through worse pain, even worse than now. He was Lucifer. If any of his demons saw him in this state, there sure would be a lot of stories to tell around Hell.

  
But then again, this was Sam. And Sam was allowed to see him like this. The sole one who he showed his imperfections to, the one who was able to explore them from the bottom to the top. The only one who, instead of judging him, took care of him.

  
“ _Yes_.”

  
The touch paused for a few seconds, before continuing to explore every part of his skin sensually slow. Lucifer’s hands clenched to fists when warm breath ghosted over his left shoulder, and he couldn’t help but throw back his head a little, lips parting at the teeth that dug into him like a sharp blade. But they weren’t threatening, no, far from that. They were soft, nipping with care, almost telling him that he’d be safe here.  
Safe with Sam.

  
The warm tongue that dipped into his neck forced him to release a rigid noise, and his eyebrows furrowed when he felt it wander down, down and passing the particular zone that Sam hadn’t explored yet, down until it stopped at his spine. And he bit, Lucifer groaned, arching his back in response.

  
“What was it like?” Sam inquired, sitting back up with his naked stomach pressed flat against his back and lips suddenly whispering next to his ear. The archangel felt weak under his touch, couldn’t fight the part that asked him to surrender, couldn’t control the thought of laying down, because those hands that connected with his skin only worshipping every molecule making him complete, made him feel loved.

  
Lucifer opened his eyes, staring at the mirror in the far back of the room, giving him the opportunity to look at how focused Sam was on him, and only him, “What was _what_ like?”

  
A stroke down the other side of his waist made him emit a soft sound, “Falling from grace,” Sam said in a calm manner, “Losing your wings, losing your role, losing your true meaning, losing your family, your—” and he stopped at that, realizing how far he was going and he discontinued without a second thought. “I’m sorry.”

  
But Lucifer could handle it, even when it stung. And he knew that hurting him wasn’t Sam’s intention. “Don’t be.”

  
He partially drifting out of focus again when Sam searched further for the spot where his wings once were, and then he exhaled.

  
“It felt horrible,” he confirmed, “Falling from grace, but losing my wings…Michael ripped them off, tore them apart.” and Sam looked up, making eye-contact through the mirror with a soft understanding expression, “I still have those obscene images carved into my memory, and thought about it a lot in the cage. Remember it like it happened yesterday. I’ll never forget the agony, the worst feeling, the screams that reverberated in Heaven, the way my feathers turned from velvet to black and then to ashes.” and then Lucifer smiled, “But I never lost hope.”

  
Sam smiled back, looking down.

  
“But, I don’t think I should answer the latter. You, yourself know how losing family feels like.”

  
Lucifer felt Sam’s fingers come closer to the zone, and he wished for him to continue in that direction, to find it and trail over his invisible marks.

  
“Yeah,” Sam affirmed, nodding, “I do.”

  
The room remained quiescent after that, and Lucifer wondered if this was Heaven, his Heaven. Having his other half close to him, as close as physically possible, making him shudder out of pleasure at every slight move Sam made on him. Kissing a part of him was one, touching was two, and verbal interaction—

  
“ _Pedicabo me_ ,” Lucifer gasped out, head thrown back. His eyes went wide, and Sam blinked confusedly, raising his hands in surrender, worried that he had done something wrong.

  
“Lucifer—”

  
“Pergo, si vis.” The latin words rolled off of the archangel’s tongue, accent clear in his voice. Sam could tell that he had done something that pleased him, severely. “Sam, please,” he pleaded, “Do it again, I _beg_ of you—” Lucifer keened when Sam caressed the same spot again, right where he want it, “ _Ita vero delicia, pedicabo me_.”

  
Sam could comprehend a few words that came out, and he smirked. They were extremely dirty. “I think I found it.”

  
He let his fingers go over the area again, watching Lucifer hiss and collaps his head back against Sam’s shoulder, eyes forcefully closed at the sensation.

  
“ _Damn_ Lucifer, so dirty.” Sam jested playfully, taking a break from rubbing over the sensitive spot, “Didn’t know you had it in you.”

  
“Futue te ipsium.” The archangel growled, earning a chuckle.

  
“I can’t fuck myself.”

  
“For fuck’s sake, Sam. _Just_ —”

  
Sam pressed his fingers into the invisible mark of where his wings were once ripped from, and Lucifer couldn’t control his hips, lifted them in need for something, anything and—

  
“Fuck, don’t stop,” he begged, breaking apart piece by piece, and Sam now knew where Lucifer’s most sensitive part was, the part that made him feeble and helpless, absolutely breathless and a mess. And for a moment, he couldn’t block the curiosity that rushed through, ideas popping into his head. “Sam, what are you doing?”

  
“Just testing the waters.” he retorted, removing himself a little bit and licking a stripe from his nape down to the spot that made him go wild. Lucifer pursed his lips together, not willing to release any more sounds than he had already, but it was too much, even just a caress made him practically go limp from pleasure and the grace he still contained warmed up and rose his vessel’s temperature like never before.

  
His lips parted, a low moan rushed past right as Sam removed his tongue and pressed his lips right there, holding it to assure him that everything would be alright.

  
“ _I’m not scared_.”

  
Sam withdrew, “ _I know_.” he murmured, kissing the archangel’s hair. “You’re brave, Lucifer. You’ve covered wars, lost valuable things along the way and experienced pain that’s beyond imaginable.”

  
Those words warmed something inside of him, making him feel worth something. He hadn’t been complimented since the last time he saw his Father, who appreciated all his work. Sam was sincere, he always was.

  
“I’m proud of you.”

  
Lucifer gasped at the teeth that nibbled right under the invisible scar where his left wing had been ripped out years ago, groaning and grinding against the human in reaction by accident. “ _Sam_.”

  
Sam proceeded to please him even further, flicking his tongue across the spot and softly sucking on the skin, drawing another stiffled moan out of the blonde but this time absolutely broken and eager. He loved to watch it, loved to hear every soft but filthy cuss that left the archangel’s mouth afterwards.

  
“ _Lucifer_ ,” Sam called his name back in a purr, lighting something up inside of the archangel’s blue eyes, uttering another sound when the human pecked him on the sensitive spot, “The lightbringer, the morning star, the roaring lion, the—”

  
“ _Stop_ ,”

  
Sam quieted down, a bewildered look replacing his happy one. “What?”

  
Lucifer’s bottom lip quivered before leaving his touch, muttering “I’m none of those anymore,” and his eyes closed, head hidden away to avoid Sam’s concerned stare through the mirror in the back of the room. He didn’t want to be seen like this, he didn’t want to be seen as a weakling, because he just wasn’t.

  
“Why?”

  
“I’m nothing like who I used to be.” he simply replied, not willing to look up, “Bright and loyal, I was. Changing the universe along with my brothers and my father to something we could share with other species, and be free, be…” he stopped as if the last part of his sentence was stuck and refusing to come out. He decided to not say the word and shook his head, “That was my past.”

  
Sam grabbed his shoulder, “Be, what?”

  
“Nothing.”

  
“You never lie, Lucifer.” Sam mumbled, removing himself from behind the archangel and instead scooted over to sit next to him, “You were going to say something.”

  
“And I am right not to speak it out. That something, is a lie.” Lucifer argued back deliberately, “It doesn’t describe me, doesn’t fit me. If I ever told demons or angels, or humans, they’d laugh.”

  
A smile visited Sam’s lips, and he leaned in to kiss the side of the angel’s face, fingers holding him still by his chin. Lucifer allowed it, Sam could tell by the way his breathing slowed and how he melted into the touch.

  
“I won’t.” he promised, “You know that.”

  
Lucifer exhaled, shaking his head, “Kind.” he finally said, voice low as if someone was watching. He wanted to keep it as intimate as possible. “Be kind.”

  
“And you think that doesn’t describe you why exactly?”

  
“Sam, I _killed_ people, exploded them in a snap of my fingers, _killed_ pagan gods, killed my _brother_.”

  
“You were forced to, weren’t you?” Sam stroked his back, biting his lip as he drove his fingers around the invisible scars again, “It _made_ you like this, and you never chose to be who you are today. Killing, rebelling, fighting—that’s not _you_. It’s _inside_ of you. _Forcing_ you.”

  
Lucifer slowly looked up, but not towards Sam. His eyes drifted to the corner of the room.

  
“Hey,” two fingers under his chin forced him to glance into a pair of hazel eyes filled with care, “You’re Lucifer, remember?” he whispered, a tone of pride clear in his voice, “My rebellion, my soldier. If you leave and go out there again, I’ll always be the one waiting for you to return and tell me tales that will impress me everytime, those that can make me even more proud than I already am.”

  
Lucifer’s breathing accelerated, fingers interlacing with those that were owned by someone else and rested on his knee to soothe him.

  
“I look up to you,” Sam continued, “And I believe in you. I always will.”

  
The archangel hissed, head thrown back in absolute shock, the burn of his grace intensifying. “ _Sam_.” he breathed, moaning in pleasure when the human rubbed over the two scars at the same time. He unbiddenly tightened the grip on Sam’s hand.

  
“Let it be known that I, Sam Winchester, loves a man—an angel who fell and fought for justice, had to kill with guilt in his eyes and pain tearing him apart with every second that passed by. Someone who had to suffer but never laid down his weapons. And his bravery is what kept him going, still hoping that someday, he’ll be able to find what he needs.”

  
Lucifer’s throat tightened.

  
“ _Love_.”

  
A pair of lips covered his own, keeping them warm and protected from the cold, from the _world_ that was still turned against him. His eyes closed, hands moving over to settle on Sam’s cheeks. He wanted to keep them there and make this moment last forever, mellow out whilst the universe darkened and the Earth became a more dangerous place to be in.

  
If he still had his wings, he would spread them wide and drap them over them both, shielding them from whatever could take away what genuinely belonged to him and what made his grace glow with joy in the first time for years. A human he was fond of, loved with every part of him still in existance.

  
“I will end my journey here,” Lucifer whispered in promise, connecting their foreheads, “I have finally found what I sought for millennias.”

  
Sam simpered, blinking as they lazily locked eyes.

  
“But if dangers happens to come our way, then I will stand and fight for you, Sam.” he said, “And for you solely, if it’s the last thing I do.”


End file.
